Tuesday, October 4, 2011

8 hours!

It's four in the morning and I am up because I am not supposed to eat or drink past four and I am too excited to sleep!

In 8 hours Chandler will be making his arrival. I can't believe I am down to counting hours and not months, weeks and days.

The house is still and everyone is sound asleep. The quiet is rare and almost lonely, but it gives me time to think and be thankful. I am thankful this will be my last few moments being pregnant, but I will miss the movement of life, the constant reminder that God is the creator of all things. For God to pick me to have this family is a blessing I overlook everyday. And the more children I have, the more blessed I am, the harder giving God praise becomes. I need moments like this. In the still of the night where I can just be thankful and praise God.
Everything is packed and ready. We have to be at the hospital at 10, so we'll still get a good chunk of the morning with Taylynn and Preston. Alayna will be up around 7, but we'll put her back down for a nap at 9ish.

I held Taylynn last night after rubbing her feet with lotion (something she has loved since she was a baby) and we prayed. Normally she'll pray on her own, but she said since Chandler was coming she wanted us both to pray. She gets it. She has been through this two other times and she knows this baby is real and he's coming. I can't believe my four year old is going to be a big, big, big sister.

Preston might be just as excited as I am...except he can sleep at night :) I can already see him holding Chandler with his "I am so happy, I am going to try not to smile" grin on his face. Preston has so much love for others. He reminds me how to love when I am so caught up in this world.

Poor Alayna, she has no idea. My heart breaks a little, ok a lot knowing things are going to flip up side down in her world. I will run my self ragged before I let her feel less loved or lonely. Even if this requires no down time for me. I have been through this before with Taylynn and Preston and it's not an easy adjustment, but I will do the very best I can.

That's a mom's job right? To do the very best she can. I know I fail a lot, but I try really hard everyday to show my children what love is and to teach them the greatest love of all. Four children might be hard, but I am going to do the best that I can. I am looking forward to it (with a huge smile on my face).

Chandler- I am so excited to seeing you. I already know you and I have held you for nine months, but I am ready to see you and whisper in your ear how great you are and tell you how awesome our God is. I can only guarantee one thing in this life........you will be loved. You already are loved. I promise as your mommy to do the best I can, but know I will fail from time to time as we all do. I will love you forever. I can't wait to meet you! - Your Mama

Aaron, for us, this feels like nothing new. We've almost been married six years and having babies seems to be all we know. I promise to you I won't take love from you and divide it throughout the children. I love you most and I always will. You are my other half. Your are the laughter that comes from me, the smile upon my face. Your my one love and we are on a beautiful journey. Thank you for loving me at all times and holding my hand through it all. I love you! I love you
like crazy!

Well, it's now 5 in the morning. I ate some multi-grain Cheerios and I will spend some time in prayer then I am off to shower and possibly go back to sleep for another hour. We would appreciate your prayers, prayers for a healthy baby and smooth surgery. Also prayers of an easy adjustment for all of us.

I'll be back with updates shortly after he arrives.

Caroline

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