Lesson learned

I know one thing, I don't spend enough time with the Lord. I desire it and I seem to constantly be in a conversation with Him and the last few months I feel I have become a good listener by blocking out the boulders that stand between the Lord and I.

It's not enough. Will I ever get to the point where it's enough?
My heart could sit and read His love letter for hours, but my mind will race and chase rabbits all around. And of course the distractions of life, ha! I am lucky to have the opportunity to type this out.

God has his way of GENTLY waking me up and putting me back in His word. Today Taylynn and I had a "tiff"; She just wasn't listening and it was frustrating. I spanked her for it, and she was pretty upset. Mission accomplished right? Wrong! I was wrong to do this. I believe there is a time and place for spanking, but not out of anger or frustration. So why did I do it? Short fuse I guess. For whatever reason, I was wrong and I told Taylynn I was wrong.
I laid in bed with her and told her I was sad that I took my anger out on her. With her kind forgiving heart she said "Mommy don't be sad, it's ok". Such forgiving words. It reminds me of the way the Lord speaks to us. So GENTLE and kind.
I continued to tell her, that I my not be the best mom, but I love her with all my heart. She then said " well why do grown ups get so mad." Why do we? Why do we let the little things upset us? We know this world isn't perfect so why do we expect it to be? Why do we let the fuse inside us get lit? The answer is: Because we DON'T live in a perfect world.

When something like this happens to me and I feel God is trying to get to me, I go to His word. I also opened up my daily devotion and the day was PERFECT for me. The lesson was on GENTLENESS with your children.

But we were gentle among you
like a mother caring for her little children.
1 Thessalonians 2:7

I am a mom who wants to be the best, but I mess up. I use those mess ups to show my children wrong from right. I teach them from my mistakes. I just wish I didn't make so many.
All I want in life is for people to see Jesus in me. I want Taylynn, Preston and Alayna to see Jesus in me. I want to teach them how making mistakes are ok as long as you have the Lord with you and you ask for forgiveness.

This world and all the people in it are far from perfect, but with Jesus we can live a life full of mistakes that turn into little life lessons.