The past couple months God has been telling me to stop and slow down and to just listen to Him. He was opening up my ears so I could hear Him and this is what He said:
A few weeks ago we started a new series at church called ALTERS. I am usually get called out of service feed Alayna, but with lifegroup every other Sunday night and just talking with Aaron I can get the gist of what is going on. I have taken what I have learned and examined the moments God has given me and I have more clearly understood why God has helped me climb mountains and why I haven't been able to get one foot on a mountain. The main question in my head was, what have I really sacrificed for God?
I have been feeling like my label business was some kind of Alter moment for God, but I wasn't sure where my sacrifice was. I went on with my life, knowing God will spell it all out for me when He is ready.
Two weeks ago at MOPS we had to bring three things that symbolized us. I took a peach with the word Georgia on it, a party to do list and three bibles, two pink and one blue, and I explained that I am a Georgia peach, I love to plan parties and my job is to teach my children how to be like Jesus. At the time I was startled by the words "MY job is to teach my children about Jesus". I knew I was going to say them but for the next few days those words seemed to stick out in my head like highlighted words on a page.
Three days later, while leaving Wal-Mart God showed up. I was leaving the store with Alayna in the car seat snapped into the grocery cart and Taylynn and Preston walking with me. As we were walking towards our car another car was letting us cross in front of them and in front of that car was a gutter with concrete missing from the outside, causing a small ditch. I wasn't able to see the gutter. We began to cross in front of the car moving at faster pace to hurry out of their way. I pushed the cart right into the little ditch. The wheel went right into it and the whole cart almost fell on its side, the only thing other than my 24 pack of diet coke that fell out was Alayna. Yes, the car seat came unsnapped and fell out. She was buckled into her car seat and the whole thing FLIPPED out as I also FLIPPED out. I can see it all clearly now and I see myself screaming NOOOOO as it was all happening. I remember seeing the car seat upside down, it was at one point, but it was upside down in the air. By the grace of love of God it did a flip and landed perfectly as if someone quickly grabbed it and sat it down. I know God was there and He stuck His hand out and landed her safely as if He was the spotter for a gymnast doing a back flip. HE IS A PROTECTOR.
Psalm 121:3 -
He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber
I praised God all day and I will forever praise Him for His watchful eye over us. This is only the start of this story. I felt God was trying to tell me something. I had a hunch God was telling me something needed to change and I knew it dealt with my label shop.
Sunday came around and Alayna didn't need me out of service for the first time! I was in awe how God always seems to have perfect timing. We were learning scripture from Genesis 31. Sacrifice was the word of the day and for me the definition was:
Sac-ri-fice: [sak-ruh-fahys] noun, verbGive up Caroline's Label Shop, God has purposely given it to you and it has served its purpose and now it is time to shut the door. One day another door will open, but for now close it.
My reaction was surprising and very hesitant. My question was, why? God had given me the idea and set it all up for me, I guess that is more reason to give it back, it was His to begin with.
So I have closed the shop as of today. And I feel great about it.
I then realized how God had broken Jacob's hip to get his attention (Genesis 31), He was doing it to me with Alayna's fall. He snapped the sense into me and I am truly forever changed. My prayer to God is to break my leg if that is what it takes, because God I only want to do and go where you want me too.
On Sunday we also talked about not returning back to the sacrifice we have once given up, this is where I feel I need prayer. I loved doing labels and I would like to continue to do them, so I am to completely stop or can I still do them for friends and family? I just need prayer that I have clarity and that I can hear what God is telling me.
As of now I am uncertain as to WHY God is wanting me to sacrifice my label shop. But the thing is I am in no position to ask. He knows what is best for me and that is reason enough to follow Him.
I am looking forward to just going back to being a mom and more importantly being the best example of Jesus that I can. This time is short and these are the days they learn best by example.