Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The start of goodbye

So much has changed for our family in the last couple weeks. Taylynn has begun to grow up.
Life with three babies is no longer; I officially have a big girl.
It started off pretty innocent with soccer, then it went to starting AWANA and now PRESCHOOL. Why does this all have to happen at once?
It does help that Aaron is her soccer coach and I am there for the practices and games. For AWANA we drop her off and leave her :( The same thing goes for preschool. It's like she now has this life that I am not involved in. She is doing things without me :(
I am a very attached mother, probably a bad thing, but this time is so short. I actually haven't cried about it yet, but writing this I might. When Taylynn was a baby going out on a date without her wasn't much fun because I would miss her and want to be with her. I took her with me everywhere, she loved it as much as I did.
The only times I have dropped her off regularly were twice a month for MOPS, last year once a week for Bible Study Fellowship and the nursery at church. The difference was I stayed in the building and I could go check on her at anytime. Now with Preschool the teachers take her right from the car. I know some of what goes on in preschool, but I don't know about that cute little comment Taylynn made, or what color she told her teachers she liked, or what fun toy she played with. She now knows things I don't. She is independent and a big girl.
I pray that I have raised her to be sweet and kind and treat others with love and respect. This is just the start of when she takes what she has learned from home into the big world. It doesn't matter if she can count and identify her abc's. What matters is her attitude and how she treats others. The preschool she is going to is a preschool for children with disabilities. Taylynn is a peer model so it is important to the preschool that she is gentle and kind. I love that she is exposed to all types of children at a young age. I think this will teach her early on to love all and treat everyone the same.
But still I wish she was here with me. It is nice to not break up a fight between Taylynn and Preston every 5 minutes, but I miss her. I know I am only away from her for 2 hours and 45 minutes, but this is just the start. In a couple years she'll be going to school all day, then the next thing I know she'll be getting married (oh wait she already got married last week, pictures to come) But really fall in love and give her heart away and probably get it broken a few times. I am not sure how to handle this, but I know it has to happen until she finds this man I have been praying for, this guy that God has made for Taylynn.
Anyway, back to the now.........
AWANA is a great outlet to learn more who Jesus is. Taylynn has already memorized some of God's word, the hard part is getting her to understand it. I think the best way to do this is live by example, sounds easy. Not for me, I am far from perfect, but I try hard to be like Jesus and when I fail, I'll confess it and ask for forgiveness even to Taylynn. I would want her to do the same.

She is growing up and I have to slowly let go. She loves school, I always knew she would. I am glad she is happy. That makes the start of goodbye a bit easier.
First Day of school


AWANA
First soccer game- she looks more like the cheerleader in this picture

This is all hard for Preston to, he doesn't want to stay with mommy, he wants to go to soccer, AWANA and school too :(



September 21, 2010
Taylynn-
I know one day you'll be reading this. If you can't already tell I am crazy about you. Crazy in love with you. My life was perfect the moment you were born.
I am already looking back in time wondering how it went so fast.
When I tell you I love you, you'll say back... I love you much! So sweet.
I wish I could hold you forever. Sometimes I just lay down in your bed with you because you have gotten too big to hold. Sometimes when your sleeping I still pick you up and rock you and pray for you.
Your my sweet pea, with a huge personality and I love every piece of you.

Your momma

6 comments:

  1. You've got me all choked up!! The song "Let Them Be Little", is so true! They are only that way for a short period of time! All of this hits home for me too. Love all the pictures.

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  2. I know how you feel, my baby isn't going to be the baby anymore when this new one comes! It makes me sad and happy at the same time!! Preschool is so good for them and I am so happy you choose for her to go! Even though it is hard!

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  3. Awww, your post is beautiful. Taylynn pictures are amazing.

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  4. What a beautiful post and so well said Caroline. You are wise to realize how very fast the years go.... I am not sure I was always as aware of that when I was your age. She will do well because of all you and Aaron have taught her and Jesus is holding her hand.

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